random ramblings of a jiffy

Attachment

2011-08-12T09:44:00.003+01:00

In my line of work, it can help if you don't become attached too much. We're only human, however, and it doesn't always work that way. I've known dozens of tenants over my 13 years in this job, and I've loved some, liked others and loathed the odd one. I wonder why? Why is it we have a natural affinity with some people and not others?
In my 13 years here, approximately 20 of the tenants have died. I've felt genuinely sad over very few. Some were tenants for years and I got to know them quite well, and shared many good and bad times with them. Others weren't here for quite so long, and yet I still feel the same sadness.
I was informed this morning of a tenant's death. She had been here less than 2 years but was fully involved with all events and very popular with other tenants. I am very, very sad today, but grateful to have known her and thinking of her family at this heartbreaking time for them.

The Easter Break!

2011-04-25T12:34:00.003+01:00

Ha! I actually dared to dream of lazy mornings, days out and boredom! I have had (s0 far) a not-very-relaxing Easter. I have had a lovely day out with my family, which I hope to do again before the week is out! We went to Donegal for a drive. Yes, just for a drive. Not to visit anywhere in particular, you understand, just to get out of the house. We spent a wee while at the beach so the dog could get a run (see the picture!) By the way - this photo cracks me up! We then just - well, drove. We ended up driving up a road that was kind've restricted to the electricity company to access their windmills! After much laughter and aching, stiff backs, we got back to Belfast in the evening. A lovely day.

I have since done part of my college assignment - a case study which is to be a maximum of 2,500 words. I thought I'd never get it done - never mind get the word count right. Turns out, I was right to be concerned. 2,500 words? Pah! I have 3,900 so I have to do a bit of editing now!!

My evenings this week are all accounted for, as are my days because I'll be starting on the other assignment - 2,000 words this time!

It all makes me wonder how I have time for a full-time job! I keep hoping-against-hope that my parents win the lottery. Soon!

Time to breathe!

2011-02-23T11:59:00.002Z

It seems, lately, that I just don't have time to breathe! This has both advantages and disadvantages! The advantage is that I just don't see the time going in, and the weeks seem to go by more and more quickly until it's the weekend again! The disadvantage is that I just don't have any time! A typical week for me is:
Monday - work until 5.15pm. College from 5.30-8.30pm.
Tuesday - work until 5.15pm. Counselling placement in Newry from 7.30-9.45pm
Wednesday - work until 5.15pm. Meetings or Bible study from 7.30pm
Thursday - work until 5.15pm. College from 5.30-8.30pm
Friday - work until 3.45pm. Ice hockey (Yay!) or film night with tenants until approx. 10pm
Saturday - the day of sleep, rest and recuperation
Sunday - Church from 10am-1pm. Choir until 1.30pm. Dinner at 4 and some more rest.

Hectic and stressful though this is, I'm glad it's this way because it means that I managed to secure a counselling placement and don't have to drop out for a year!! Yeehaw! It's also a bit mad to think I've been let loose to actually counsel people in the real world! This is something I've wanted to do for some years now, so it means that I'm one step closer to achieving that goal! Stressful, yes. Worth it? Definitely!

On being therapimecated

2010-11-09T14:22:00.003Z

After 6 months, I have finished my personal therapy!!! Yay! Although I'm glad in one sense - and my bank balance is ecstatic - I'm kind've sad in another. A wee chapter has ended and I've been well therapised!

I'm grateful to have had a counsellor who helped me (and pushed me, at times) along my journey and who helped me put theory and practice together. I can only hope that if I ever make it through this degree and find a suitable counselling placement, I'll do some justice to the efforts she put in with me.

I will miss these hours; the times that are purely for me and to work through my 'stuff'. I will miss the walks into town where I had 20 mins either side of the sessions to think, listen to music and be happy with the world. Today was a wonderful example of that. It's a beautiful, cold, windy autumn day and it made me happy to walk home even though it was tinged with a wee bit of sadness for the ending of something.

Time Killing..

2010-10-28T12:29:00.002+01:00

Ok, so it's only 12.30. I'm aware I should be working. I should probably be catching up on paperwork or visiting sick older people. Instead, I find myself blogging about what I'm (not) doing instead!

I'm sitting in my office killing time until lunch in 30 mins. Doesn't really seem worthwhile to start a new project so I'm noseying around on facebook and occasionally daydreaming out the window.

I find myself looking out of the office window at the trees. They are at that beautiful mix of green leaves and yellow, with some unfortunate yellow and brown leaves already on the ground. It should be a sad sight, but it isn't! Instead it lends a golden glow to my office and I love this time of year because of it! (Mind you, as soon as the leaves are all off I look for the new buds coming through!)

There is very little breeze out today, and it's raining. So, so peaceful...Calms my soul

Summer

2010-08-27T11:00:00.004+01:00

I haven't blogged in quite a while! I think this is because I've spent the summer recuperating from the academic year, and I've really enjoyed having nothing to think about, having some free time and I actually had the opportunity to read a couple of books for sheer pleasure!

The picture is one taken when we were able to get out cycling along the coastal path from Bangor to Holywood. Cracking views!

Of course, there were a couple of camping trips. And, of course, it rained non-stop while we were camping! At one point the water table was so high that one morning we woke up with puddles in the bedroom!! Thankfully they were easily sorted, and if all else failed, the airbed (which has a rubber base) would have acted as a li-lo!!

We also had a friend come over from England to spend the weekend with us. We had a lovely time and went to County Fermanagh to visit the Marble Arch caves. She loved it and we thoroughly enjoyed her company!

Ken's sister gave birth at the beginning of the month to a beautiful girl called Alexandra. She really is a wee dote and we spent a couple of days in Dublin getting to know her and spending some time with his Mum.

So, now we're nearing the end of the summer, we're gearing up for our winter activities. I'm looking forward to getting back to college, but not to the loss of free time. More importantly, the ice hockey season starts soon! Let's go Giants!

Reflections

2010-06-21T14:14:00.003+01:00

As part of the foundation degree in counselling that I'm undertaking, I am required to receive 20 hours of personal therapy. 20 hours! That's a lot. My wise counsellor set me homework the other week. I had to read the journals that I had written over the years. I've kept a journal for more than 20 years now, so this is no small undertaking!!

It was surreal to read what I had written all those years ago, about the trials of being a teenager! Some of it is so trivial I can't believe I actually wasted time, paper and ink on them. Some entries are...well..not trivial.

It was brought home to me just how different I am from the teenager who wrote in those journals all those years ago, but some things remain.

I remain grateful for the gospel in my life, even if it isn't as new to me as it was then. I'm grateful for my friends and family for their love and support, and for all that they've taught me.

What really stood out, though, was that I have always been watched over. At every stage in my life when I needed something, someone was put in my way to help. Some of these people know what influence they've been (because I've told them) and others don't know or realise just how much they helped when I needed it most. I'm eternally grateful to all those who have helped shape me and enabled me to move forward.

After Jason died, I listened to one song a lot - Flowers never bend with the rainfall, by Simon and Garfunkel. So, in their words, I'll continue to continue.

Simple things and stupidity

2010-06-08T09:34:00.002+01:00

I once knew a man in Stafford who told us that he was amazed at his own brilliance - and he meant it! Well, this week, I have occasionally been amazed at my own stupidity! There are too many stories to go into detail, but I will tell you about one.
I decided that we would upgrade our subscription to hd. This was a relatively simple thing to do, all we had to do was order the box and connect it ourselves, which we managed to do in about 5 minutes. It's great, and the picture is really sharp! We were very pleased!
The time came to put the box into the space left for it in the tv unit, right on top of the dvd player. There was only a small hitch - the box was too big for the space. It looked rediculous perched on top of the unit. It took us about an hour to decide what to do. We'd move that unit into the hall. The shelves that were in the hall would go into the bedroom, and the bookcase that was in the bedroom would come into the living room to hold the tv, boxes, dvd player, dvds etc. When the time came to commence the moving, about 2 hours later, I decided to have one last go at the simpler things, like putting the box somewhere else. That didn't work. We were ready to get everything ready, when I said,'As one last go, why don't we slide the tv down a bit to see if that makes room?' It took me 3 HOURS to come up with the solution that normal people would have come up with in about 30 seconds!
At least we saved ourselves the hassle of the big move!
Painting the hall this week - can't wait to see what gems that throws at us!!

A chink of light!

2010-05-13T12:18:00.005+01:00

Now that May is well underway and the academic year is drawing to its close, I can at last begin to see a chink of light at the end of the tunnel!

Life from September to May has been hectic for me for the last 3 years, with this past year being the busiest of them all! On top of working full-time ( I'm aware that some of you may not classify what I do for a living as 'working'!) writing approx. 1000 words a week for class, the recorded assessment and exams we've just done, actually going to class and church service (I direct the choir and teach once a month - thank goodness it's not every week!), I have had barely enough time to breathe, let alone queeze in a social life! So, I apologise if I haven't called, emailed or visited, but at least I'll get a bit of a breather until September!

Well, now that classes are more or less finished for the semester, I have embarked on my 20 hours of required personal therapy. That'll be fun! Still, only another 2 years to go before I'm qualified and making a living doing what I've wanted to for a long, long time!

So, bring on the summer! I'm looking forward to actually having enough time to be bored of an evening! What luxury is that?

Our road trip!

2010-04-12T10:11:00.002+01:00

We have spent the last week and a bit travelling to visit the temple, see the ice hockey and spent time with family and friends! We need a holiday now to recover from the holiday!

We had a great time at the temple, made even better by the dinner we got to have with Lauren. It was great to see her again and looking happy. Even better that we got to meet the famous Malc!

Then, there was the weekend to beat all weekends. The ice hockey playoff finals! You all know how we're a bit potty about the ice hockey and are avid supporters of the Belfast Giants. Playoff weekends are always fun because all clubs are represented at the finals, but this year the Giants actually qualified for them! So, in celebration, we bought foam puck hats for all 8 of us who attended the weekend! Didn't we look great! So great, in fact, that we were picked up by the cameras on sky sports 2 who were covering the event! Contrary to what Dave Simms (the commentator) said, we had not been on the black stuff. In fact, we managed to make ourselves look and act like complete eejits while being stone cold sober!!!

Good times - and already we're looking forward to next year. And, by the way, the Giants won!!

Learning and growing

2010-03-08T14:12:00.004Z

I'm not into poetry. At. All. With one exception - the poems of the First World War. I like them. Some of them. I like how you get caught up in the melancholy and futility of war. I made an exception this week. I bought a friend's recently published collection, Inroads. I bought it primarily to support her because, even though I don't see her much, I am very pleased for her for her achievements and I enjoy her writing style.

Thing is, I find myself thinking about some of these poems. It's like they've actually affected me! Who'd have thought it! So, dear friend. Thank you.

By the way, she has an eagerly anticipated novel out next year. It is 'The Guardian Angel's Journal'. I recommend it! And the author can send me my commission through paypal! :D

Photo-less

2010-02-15T20:26:00.002Z

It occurred to me the other day that there are no nice pictures of us around the house except our wedding pictures. In fact, there is a real dearth (I really, really like that word!) of printed pictures at all since Ken and I got married. I have hundreds of photos (note, no apostrophe - that drives me crazy!) of all aspects of life with Jason, but hardly any with Ken.

This isn't because we haven't taken any. Of course we have! Hundreds. Thousands, in fact. Difference is that they were taken with the digital camera and of course, it's not every picture that gets printed. In fact, for us, it's only the very rare photo gets printed out.

So, in the run-up to St Valentine's Day this year and not knowing what to buy for my beloved husband, I decided to get a nice photo frame. I then, well, bascially nagged Ken into taking some pictures of us together to put in the frame. He thought I was just off on one of my whims but, bless him, he went along with it to keep me happy!

The result is that we now have a couple of nice pictures of us (including one in the frame!) and had a couple of really nice, relaxing days together over the weekend.

I'm so incredibly blessed in my life to have Ken. He is my world, and what's better - I'm his!

The Gift of Tears

2010-01-27T09:30:00.003Z

Last night was Bible study night. It's been a while since we've had the opportunity to get together and we were very glad that we took it last night. We were reading in Luke 4, where the Saviour got up and read from Isaiah, saying that He was sent to preach the gospel to the poor, heal the brokenhearted, and so on..

It got us to talking and I mentioned a friend of mine who had recently been having a hard time and had phoned me in tears. Tears so bad they were taking her breath away. You know the sort - the whole-body sob that takes over and you can't control it. I said to my friend at the Bible study that the passage about healing the brokenhearted made me think of her and that she was having such a hard time and had forgotten that God loves her because she feels unworthy of that love.

My Bible study friend immediately picked up a booklet she had been given by another friend and read a page entitled 'Pray for the gift of tears'. I've been thinking about this, and while none of us likes to be sore of heart or grief-stricken the alternative is much, much worse. Imagine being so hard of heart that nothing touches you? Imagine not being able to cry tears of joy? Even tears of sadness can keep us from being hard. If we didn't have the gift of tears I think the world would be a very very ugly place, filled with hard, angry, cynical people.

I, for one, am glad that I cry at the drop of a hat! No longer will I be embarrassed!

Back to life

2010-01-25T09:41:00.000Z

Image by Leo Reynolds via Flickr

...Back to reality. I've enjoyed the last month or so, with not having a hectic schedule. Back to the real world now, though. The new semester starts this week, so my week looks like this:
Monday: Work from 9am to 5.15pm, College from 5.30-8.30pm
Tuesday: Work from 9am to 5.15pm, Bible study from 7.30 - 9ish
Wednesday: Work from 9am to 10pm (film night for the tenants - Elvis this week!)
Thursday: Work from 9am to 5.15pm, College from 5.30-8.30pm
Friday: Work from 9am to 3.45pm, Ice hockey from 7pm
Saturday: Shopping to replace the broken microwave, putting up shelves and fixing the tv wiring and then Ice hockey
Sunday: Church from 10-1, parents for dinner and finally a bit of rest!

So, it's Monday and already I'm looking forward to Sunday evening for a bit of relaxation!!!

Smugness!

2010-01-04T10:08:00.003Z

Image by brooklyn via Flickr

I rarely have any occasion to be smug, so when one arises I embrace it warmly! The latest is that I had my college assignments finished before the Christmas break! They add up to approx 6000 words, broken down into 10 weekly assignments and a case study. I was so chuffed with myself that I could relax and enjoy the Christmas holiday, concentrating on doing nothing, wrapping a few presents and just spending time with my family. It was lovely and very, very needed! I did nothing over Christmas. I slept late, ate a fair bit and lazed about.
New Year's Eve was spent with my parents playing board games and some games on their wii. We had a great laugh and at midnight went outside to hear the ship's horns blast the New Year in. We finally made it to bed around 2.30am. It. Was. Nice.

Then, on Sunday, I thought I'd take a look at my college work and get it organised and printed ready to be handed in on Thursday. See? Smugness!

Imagine my horror when the computer won't turn on! I imagined myself having to write all 6000 words again. Finally, the computer DID switch on and I was able to get the stuff printed, but not before all traces of smugness were wiped forever off my face!

Doctor's office

2009-10-15T14:49:00.000+01:00

Image by Sarah G... via Flickr

I went to my GP today to discuss the painkillers and anti-inflammatory medications I need to help control the sciatica and fybromyalgia that I'm afflicted with. After the last visit where I cracked my neck at the poor guy and completely freaked him out, I was greeted with, 'Well, what horrible thing do you have for me today?'. Once I was able to stop laughing I got down to the business of the day. We sorted that out and then he decided to give me my flu injection with the most blunt needle I have ever encountered! Really, it hurt!
So, I thought I'd be responsible and ask if there were any pain management, or if at all possible, pain avoidance regimes that I could incorporate into my life. I went in looking for painkillers and anti-inflammatory tablets and came out with those plus...anti-depressants! Allegedly, these tablets can, in very low doses, help stop the pain so the doc reckons it's worth a go. But come on, anti-depressants? I'm still chuckling now!

It's college night tonight. If the tutor asks us again what kind of animal we'd like to be I swear I will not be held responsible for my actions!

Why do I put myself through these things?

2009-10-08T21:19:00.004+01:00

Image by y-its-mom via Flickr

So, I'm home from college. I am beginning my third year of five studying counselling, and embarking on the diploma - now somewhat fancied-up and called a foundation degree. Like any course of study there are ups and downs, but for the most part it has been enjoyable!

Tonight, however, didn't fall under that category! Tonight we were doing interesting things like telling complete strangers your fears, figuring out who the significant people in your life are and then drawing a diagram to show this. We spoke of self-concept, self-disclosure and self-actualisation. All very interesting.

Do you know what the class ended with? The tutor going round us all, one by one, and asking what kind of animal we would like to be, and why!

So, where I normally come home quite enthusiastically and excited to share my thoughts and what I have learned, I came home tonight very tired, bored and extremely grumpy!!! Still, at least I'm self-aware enough to realise it!

Memories of Stake Family Camp

2009-08-01T09:02:00.003+01:00

1 - The wind and
the rain

2 - Holding onto the gazebo while cooking

3 - Standing under the gazebo while cooking and holding onto it, wearing my waterproof coat and hat because the torrential rain and howling winds meant that we got wet anyway!

4 - The river running through J's tent!

5 - The mud.

6 - The van nearly getting stuck in the mud

7 - The hike to the toilets that were inadequate for the sheer number of people in the two fields

8 - Porta-potty

9 - Ken's magic van

10 The craic

Finally!

2009-07-24T09:39:00.001+01:00

Image by hljavery@verizon.net via Flickr

Finally, after 4 looooong years, we got a very important letter from the first presidency! We'd like to thank everyone who knew about this process and offered us support and love. Curious? haha!

The Shack

2009-07-10T09:25:00.002+01:00

Cover of The Shack

A friend loaned me a book on Tuesday night after our Bible study. It was a book called 'The Shack'. I don't know if you've heard of it. I hadn't.

I finished it last night. It's not a particularly long book, but it's subject matter is quite heavy. It talks about redemption, forgiveness and our relationship with God in a fictional setting.

While I found that I disagreed on a doctrinal level with some of the ideas, I was able to enjoy it for what it was - a novel. It also provided me with some things to think about. Like, how my view of the world would change if my relationship with God was all it should be and He was at the centre of my life.

All in all, a very thought-provoking little book.

Old people and nervous breakdowns

2009-07-03T10:21:00.003+01:00

Image by cobalt123 via Flickr

Sometimes I love my job. Sometimes I hate it! For quite a small salary I have quite a responsible job which I certainly don't do for the money!
In addition to making sure all the tenants are ok and have what they need, I am responsible for the buildings and grounds. You know, making sure they're kept clean, tidy and in decent repair.
What I didn't know that I had signed up for was keeping my tenants sanity intact around our wee hunter - Sparky the cat! Bless, he is a very good hunter of our other furry visitors. He would catch them, play with them, kill them and bring them back to his owner like a wee trophy! Of course, his owner doesn't see the good side of this because she is terrified of any wee furry creature that's smaller than a cat!
So, this morning, I had to go and pick up my fourth dead rat. Oh the joys! This one was the biggest of them all and you could have heard my freaked out murmurings a mile off!
Thankfully, though, I got there before Sparky's owner or I'd be dealing with a nervous breakdown by now!

Why does it always rain on me?

2009-05-28T09:36:00.002+01:00

You know that in Ireland it rains 300 days a year, right? Perhaps that will explain why none of our BBQs are ever dry!

We went with family and friends to the Antrim coast last week and stopped along the way to have a bbq. We had everything you'd ever need - burgers, sausages, mushrooms, onions, ribs, potatoes, crisps, chocolate, cake........Everything, except dry weather! It was dry until we tried to light the bbq and then it rained! Picture the scene - 4 people with umbrellas up trying to protect the bbq from the rain and of course the sea breeze! 1 box of matches and a lot of laughter later, we had fire!!

This reminded me of another time where we ended up having our bbq in a lay-by of a main road. In the rain. As we were merrily munching on soggy burgers the drivers passing by were beeping their horns and laughing at us. Of course, we were laughing at us as well!

Or the time we went up to Scrabo tower in October. Stormy night and the beans and sausages were actually blown off our forks! I can still see the ribbon of kitchen paper as it was blown off the tower and onto the golf course next door!

Or, the New Year's Eve when we went to near Newcastle for a campfire. Hubby got out of the car and announced that it was "a bit breezy!". We got out of the car and straight back in again before the doors were ripped off by the near hurricane winds! We ended up at Helen's Bay with our wee fire!

Memories are made of this.....

Wonderfully supported, but by more than a bra!

2009-05-19T09:58:00.002+01:00

I haven't written in a while, but that is mainly because so many wee things are happening it's difficult to know what to write about!

Things have been rather busy - but I suppose that's a good thing! The weeks, and more importantly, weekends are flying by and it's all a bit scary. I met a woman, once, who said that time is like a roll of toilet paper - the closer you got to the end the quicker it seems to go!

I've been thinking about the tail-end of my teenage years. I worked 7 evenings a week, but Fridays were the best. A couple of friends would come out to work with me (I was a care assistant in the community and had to drive to the client's homes). Inevitably the album in the car would be REM's 'Automatic for the People'. After driving all over North Down to do my job, we'd then head up to another friend's house for our weekly Friday night sleep-over. This would involve watching really, really bad films, playing poker (badly) with monopoly money and occasionally trying to play a joke on one another! Great times!

Lately, things have been good for us, if a little more serious. We've been having to rely on our leadership at church, and I just wanted to acknowledge them for all the help and support they've given us lately, and always. Hopefully things'll turn out the way we wish them to, but if not, it won't be for lack of trying on everyone's part!!!

So, it's safe to say that we feel very loved and supported. The first person to make a wise-crack about supportive bras gets a diggin'!!!!

Pandering to my oddity

2009-04-26T23:03:00.001+01:00

I couldn't think of anything to write, but being on entry 21 was driving me nuts so here is no. 22! Refer to last entry!!

My weirdnesses

2009-04-17T10:04:00.002+01:00

I have many oddities, weirdnesses or personality quirks. You choose which description suits best. Personally, I know I'm weird, I accepted it many years ago and now I fully embrace it.

Weirdness number one is this - I despise odd numbers. Seriously. The volume on the tv has to be an even number, the temperature in the car must be even as with the stereo volume. As a child, I even divided the days of the week into odd and even, with Sunday being neither because it was the Lord's day!!

So, you can imagine the pressure I put on myself to think of something to write in this blog when it's left at an uneven number, as it will be by the time I've finished today! Perhaps I'll let out some more of my......foibles!!

Happy Friday!

Holidays - waste of time?

2009-04-15T11:31:00.002+01:00

The past few months have been pretty stressful for us in one way or another. Come to think of it, there always seems to be something going pear-shaped or some narrowly averted catastrophe! It's just how my life is. It has always been that way and will most likely continue in that fashion.

It's hard, but also can be fun, thanks to the twisted sense of humour my entire family has which enables us to get through just about anything - and we have, believe me! There are stories within my family that are very, very true, but at the same time make us all out to be fantasists because things like that just don't happen in ordinary families, do they? Is your curiosity aroused? Well, I could tell you, but I would actually have to kill you!!! ;)

April came around and we were off for a week in England to see family and friends. Do you know, we had a great time! The ice hockey was good craic as always and the family were fantastic. We even visited an aunt I haven't seen since my teenage years and it was fantastic to get to know her a little. We went ten-pin bowling, cinema, out for lunch etc. You know how it is.

Then, today, I had to go back to work. I'm as stressed as I have ever been and am wondering if the last couple of weeks was a dream. Was it? Or was the holiday itself a complete waste of time? The only reason I know it wasn't was that I got to catch up with some people from my mission days. Oh, how I love them!

Gallavanting!

2009-04-02T11:56:00.002+01:00

Sometimes we get unfairly accused of always gallavanting around! Well, not wanting to disappoint, we're away again. This time we're going for a week. The trip started out as a weekend to see the ice hockey Playoff finals (which the Belfast Giants regrettably aren't in) and we thought we'd extend it to spend some time with family and friends that are dotted all over the midlands.

So, I'm looking forward to a fun-filled weekend and an interesting week as we catch up with people we haven't seen for a few years!

So, to anyone who reads this blog, I wish you a very Happy Easter! I know it's early, but it's unlikely I'll update this blog before then!!

This is the last trip we have planned...for now!

Sleepless nights - and not in a good way!

2009-03-30T14:04:00.002+01:00

Now. I'm very lucky indeed. I have managed to find not only one, but two good men who have decided that they'll spend the rest of their lives with me. Granted, the first one didn't last too long, but hubby no. 2 seems to be holding in there just fine!

Hubby no. 2 loves me very much and I love him very much, which comes in handy when you're married! Each night before we go to sleep is the time we'll lie in bed and chat about the day - what annoyed us, what amused us - you know, general chit-chat. Usually it will end up with us both in fits of laughter at something that happened to the other, or some stupid thing we said to put our feet in the proverbial....

Lately, the hubby has taken to singing to me in a very silly but amusing (to me) strangely falsetto voice. Since he speaks with a very deep voice, it is something to behold. I think he takes his inspiration from Peter Sellers in one of the Pink Panther films, where, at the end of the movie, he is singing "Come to me" in a bad French accent with lots of vibrato. You know, going for the clumsly lover routine! He does this, you'll be glad to know, not to woo me but to make me laugh! He succeeds.

Well, he succeeded until last night! The song he has been singing of late is Liberty X's "Just a little" which starts with the line "Sexy. Everything about you so sexy". Imagine in a falsetto voice with vibrato and you might start to get the picture! Now, after the laughter died down we said goodnight and I began to say my personal prayer. Guess what song kept going through my mind? You got it in one! Imagine trying to have a serious conversation with Heavenly Father and having that song go round and round in your head!!

All night!!! Could I sleep? Could I heck as like! I last looked at the clock approaching 2am for the third night in a row! I'm sleep deprived and have nothing to show for it!!! Grrr....

Signs of spring?

2009-03-19T13:05:00.003Z

Am I losing my mind, or are signs of spring beginning to creep in? The past couple of days have started out foggy, but that has burnt off and we have been left with glorious sunshine and (reasonably) warm temperatures!

Isn't it great?

Added to that is the bizarre, but annual, desire to clear the house of any junk and just give it a thorough clean and tidy through!

Every day as I look out of my office window I can see the wonderful and gloriously quirky daffodils nodding away as they sway in the breeze. It makes me happy! I love these wee flowers! Next on my list of things to look out for will be the budding of the trees and the cherry blossoms in the courtyard! When they are out in full bloom I know it'll be time to get the tent out of storage and dust off the barbeque in preparation for our usual spring/summer adventures!

I find spring a beautifully optimistic season. The days are getting longer and warmer, the flowers begin to bloom and the trees burst into life again. It reminds me that life's trials are temporary and though at times, it may feel as though I'm trudging through the winter muddy slush with my toes frozen and the bottom of my jeans wet and filthy, spring is always just around the corner. The trials will end and there will be a respite - a time to recuperate and recharge before the next lot of buffeting wind, rain, sleet and hail settles in.

So, go on - take a deep breath, smile and be happy. Enjoy the moment!

March madness

2009-03-09T15:44:00.002Z

I write this today through a haze of lost sleep, so it'll be tough task for me to notice any spelling errors! See, I already caught myself out 4 times already in the space of 2 sentences! It's not good!

Anyhoo, we travelled to Scotland this weekend just past to attend my brother's birthday party. I can't believe I'm old enough to have a brother at 40 - that means I'm next!

So, an uneventful journey was followed by a pretty eventful Saturday. My poor sister-in-law was getting pretty stressed about it and had put in a heck of a lot of work, and just as we were all thinking of getting organised, she had to be taken to hospital with a potentially very serious problem, which looks as though it was sorted in time, thank goodness!

So, we were all at the party and a good number of people turned out. News filtered through about my sister-in-law and it did put a bit of a dampner on it because naturally, our thoughts were with her, hoping that she'd be ok. That meant it took a while to kick into gear, but when it did, it did! It's been a long time since I've had that much fun at a party and what was really nice was that the hubby really let go and had a blast! He surprised everyone there 'cos they've never seen that exuberant side to him. He was FUNNY!

A couple of days later, we're home, even more broke than before and shattered, but we had a great time! Just what I needed to take my mind off March.

Wishing life away...

2009-03-04T15:07:00.001Z

I'm not usually one who likes to wish my life away. Generally I like every season I'm in and try to make the best of whatever situation I find myself in. I'm more of your 'but on the other side it's good because..' kind of person. This has helped me through more sticky and problem situations that you'd ever believe.

The only exceptions to this rule are the months of February and March which, for me, are emotional roller-coasters.

Roll on April!!

Highs and lows

2009-02-20T09:30:00.004Z

This last couple of weeks have been quite difficult for us. We have both been struggling with various things that have been going on in our lives and it has made for an unhappy Jiffy and hubby. We've been fine with each other, don't misunderstand me, but just within ourselves there's been room for mood improvement!

I have been very thankful over the years for the mission I served many years ago (although it seems like yesterday!). Mostly because of the great spiritual and life lessons it taught me. A great blessing to come from it is the friends I made along the way. I have been blessed to have great friends all my life, but there is something to be said for living with someone 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to help your lesson-learning abilities.

Yesterday, I was feeling pretty down about things and as I was just about to finish work, I noticed that one of my companions was online at the same time I was. I thought I'd just say hello and have a quick chat before finishing up. What it turned into, however, was both of us laughing hysterically at the mad and surreal things that happened while we were serving together in the land of the windmill and the brussel sprout! I have rarely been as thankful for the insane things that happen in my life as I was yesterday because it gave me the first real laugh I've had for a couple of weeks!

Now, Sister Lawson, you can SLEEP!

What a weekend!

2009-02-18T09:50:00.003Z

We had a rather delightful weekend, just past. On Friday night, Ken's brother and sister-in-law came up to visit us and Ikea! We had a really lovely evening with them and enjoyed our chin-wag that went later into the night than we had intended! After a bit of a slow start to Saturday morning, we all made the journey to Ikea. Ken and I spent a couple of hours wandering round the store with them and then we all went to the restaurant for some dime cake and drinks. That's when we had to say our goodbyes. They were planning another assault on the Swedish store and we had to start our journey to Donegal where we were planning to stay overnight.

The journey itself was uneventful, for a change. I drove the entire way while Ken slept almost the entire way! 2 1/2 hours later we were pulling into the drive of our favourite wee B&B - really, we love the place! A lovely evening and night were spent in Donegal.

On Sunday, we awoke to glorious sunshine. We haven't seen too much of that lately! On account of it being such a splendid day we thought we'd make the most of it and go for a drive through the county. So, off we headed. We travelled northwards and through the most rural parts of Ireland and found some beautiful and remote spots. Luckily Ken had his camera so we could capture some of those places and moments. It took 8 hours from when we left the B&B to get home and we were both very tired, but I wouldn't have missed the opportunity for the world. Really, how could I not want to spend time in a place I love with the person I love?

Idiotic me

2009-02-06T16:41:00.002Z

Because I can, on occasion, be a complete idiot I find myself eating a bit of humble pie. Stupidly, after falling out with my friend, I let my frustration and anger surface in a most inappropriate place - my blog.

It was stupid, thoughtless and potentially very hurtful; no matter what the issues are/were with my friend, she did nothing to deserve the public lambasting she got from me.

Rest assured, I have seen the error of my ways, sent her an email to apologise and deleted the post.

What can I say? I am a redhead with the temper to match and sometimes lack the sense to take a moment and think before I act.

Heart attacks and removals!

2009-02-05T15:44:00.002Z

Most of you will know that I'm a pretty easy-going kind of person. Most things in life don't stress me out too much. Perhaps a couple of things. Conflict with family/friends and being a passenger in a car!! Specifically, being a passenger in my car!

So, this week, we were helping someone move house and we had a lovely day with them and the missionaries while we did that. Since Ken's van was already emptied out for the house-move, and we had a piano to move to a friend's house, it made sense that we arranged to move the piano today.

So, picture how my day started, since I'm already a terrible passenger before we've set off. We woke up to snow for the first time this year. The piano is well-secured in the van, but still I have mental images of being like something out of 'Only Fools and Horses' with the piano sliding out the back of the van as we pull off, leaving me chasing it down the road! You see? I can already sense that you've pictured the scene and are having a bit of a giggle at my expense.

The first argument of the day came when Ken announced that instead of driving all the way on the main road, he wanted to drive part of the way on the main road and then drive the rest over the Craigantlet Hills! Well, when he said that I told him that he could do whatever the h*ll he wanted but if he was going over the hills he could just stop and let me out right then!

So, an uneasy truce was called as we drove along our way, in the snow! The further we drove, insanely, the worse my anxiety got and the more poor Ken struggled to be understanding and hold on to his temper!

Luckily for us all, about 2 miles from our destination, my Mum called providing me with a distraction, but I could still see the road ahead and hear the creaks of the old piano as we trundled along the road. Still my stress was building.

I begged Mum to stay on the phone with me until we reached where we were going, and thankfully she did, because I was now nearing hysterics. Each time I saw a corner ahead I would groan and hide my head. By the end of the drive, Ken was laughing out loud at my rediculousness as I had the phone in one hand, talking to Mum, the other hand had a finger stuck in my ear and my eyes were firmly shut! The only time I could breathe easy was when the piano was safely installed in its new home!

Just another day in the life of the Mullans!

2009-01-30T10:34:00.002Z

A few years ago, I completed a course in working with people who have learning disabilities. This is because of the fact that I work with a few learning disabled people in the course of my job. One of the things we learned about was challenging behaviour and how most of it is because the person doesn't feel listened to or understood and because they lack the necessary communication skills to get their point across, so they act out in challenging ways.

I was thinking about this last night, and decided that those of us who are privileged to not be learning disabled really aren't that different. Our tempers rise also when we feel we're not being listened to. The only difference is that we are blessed to have the vocabulary to explain our feelings and sort through our problems, providing the other person is willing to try and listen and understand. If the other person doesn't want to listen or respect your wishes, then you need to think of a different way to deal with the issue at hand.

At the moment, my way is to just not think about it!

Mrs Grumpy

2009-01-29T10:46:00.002Z

I seem to be permanently grumpy these days. I think it's because, like I was saying in my last post, I rarely seem to have any real free time. Last night was college night and I really had to force myself to go. All I really want are a couple of evenings a week where I don't have to do anything! That'd be bliss! Of course, if that ever did happen, I'd probably be grumpy out of boredom!

I think it's the gemini in me - split personality!

So, I most humbly apologise to anyone who has had the misfortune to speak to me lately! I apologise for not being funny, talkative or willing to communicate in any way!

Still, it could be worse. At least I do have some things to look forward to! A double-header ice hockey weekend this weekend and then Valentine's weekend will be busy and fun. It's not all bad then, eh?

Of course, it could just be that I'm getting older and grumpiness seems to be a natural progression. Have you seen those programmes, grumpy old men/women? Sadly, most of the things that annoy them seem to annoy me also!

So, I was wrong! It's not how busy I am or some inherent personality defect - it's a natural side-effect from getting older!! Woohoo!

Have fun ;)

They're going to take me away! haha

2009-01-21T13:38:00.002Z

I have come to the conclusion that I'll never die in the asylum! Mainly because I can never seem to completely make my mind up. When I'm feeling awake, alive and invigorated I want my days and nights to be filled with activity. When I'm feeling tired or less than ecstatically happy I would like to be able to relax of an evening.

However, I rarely get to choose because I have a big mouth. I tend to volunteer for and organise things on nights I know I'm free and spend the week regretting it!

This week, for example. Monday night was obviously family night (even though there are only 2 of us!) Tuesday night is Bible study night. Wednesday is college (although I'm ditching this week to to to the ice hockey), Thursday is feeding the missionaries. Friday is free so far, but no doubt I'll find something to do against my better judgement! Saturday is, again, ice hockey and Sunday is taken up with church and family.

And that, folks, is my week. It's pretty typical of every week and probably somewhat explains why my house is always like a tip-head (I never have time to clean it properly!) and my weekends are so lazy!

Shared Experiences

2009-01-15T09:48:00.002Z

Occasionally, I burst into song. I can't claim to sing hip and happening tunes, or even spiritual songs unless you count 'Hand me down my silver trumpet'. More often it'll be a song that the hubby has only heard bursting forth from my mouth. I thought I was on my own loving these random but amusing songs. Here's the problem though; I can never tell if they're amusing in their own right or because of the memories associated with them!

These songs are ones that we were taught in secondary school, so the experience was shared by hundreds of other girls for countless years. Titles such as 'When Father papered the parlour' or 'The Ship Titanic', 'The Fox', and 'The housewife's lament' are frequently sung!

The other day on facebook, I was contacted by an old friend asking the name of the songbook that we'd been forced to sing out of at school. I told her what it was and then the search began! We've managed to find a lot of these old songs on youtube and she has tracked down a copy of the book. The upshot is that, at some point in the future, at least 4 of us are planning to get together and have an evening of song and probably much laughter with these old songs.

Who'd have thought that, many years after leaving school, we'd all be brought together by these songs? Who'd have thought that we'd even remember them? Funny thing is, we were all in different years at school but the same songs have stuck in each of our memories.

There is definitely something to be said for shared experiences!

Family traits

2009-01-12T10:00:00.002Z

Among the many good and bad family traits that have been handed down to us by my parents is the love of the gadget. Growing up, we were the first to have the heralded Atari gamestation (you know, the one with the tennis that was composed of two straight lines and a 'ball' that went in diagonal lines?), the video recorder (we'd have all the kids in the street in watching) and the microwave to name but a few. These characteristics have been passed on to me and my brother and we all dearly love our gadgets and play-things. My parents have recently invested in the Nintendo wii, having decided that their playstation 2 is defunct!

Over the years, this has been the cause of much hilarity in the family. Other relatives tease us mercilessly and of course, we tease each other. We're not a family in which you can hide easily or be allowed to forget mistakes!

We had great fun playing the atari as kids, the nintendo wii gets played as a family thanks to my parents owning mario kart and we all occasionally go camping together using various gadgets to make the experience more comfortable.

Do you know what some of my favourite family moments are though? Playing cricket in the park - just the four of us, one batsperson, one bowler and two fielders! We had a great time. More recently, playing football at Crawfordsburn. Three generations of the same family all teasing each other, tackling roughly (even mum) and the highlight was when Mum scored from a corner kick!

You see, as a family, we have bought a lot of gadgets over the years and they give you a bit of fun for a while. The lasting memories come from the simple things like baking together, playing a bit of footie or tennis, or cricket. Most importantly, from being together and having fun. It gives you something to smile and laugh about in later years.

Great plans gone awry

2009-01-10T14:00:00.003Z

Why is it that the plans you make for your day never quite turn out? For some people, life gets in the way and others are probably too busy being productive in some other way. For us it's pure laziness.

Last night, as hubby was playing on the wii and I had the interesting honour of watching him play James Bond, we formulated our plans for today. They went like this:

1 - Have a nice lie-in
2 - Do an hour's worth of housework
3 - Chill and spend some quality time together
4 - Get cooking - roasting the meat for tomorrow's dinner, make soup, make lunch and dinner for today
5 - Have a lovely date night in, complete with chocolate, shloer, popcorn and movie

Here's how it's panned out so far. Hubby got a lie-in. I was up at 8.30 am thanks to the strange noises that were coming out of his mouth. Housework would have been too loud and woken him up, so I chose instead to watch tv. Very tiring it was too!

Instead of doing the hour of housework, we decided to go into town and get some lovely Irish souvenirs for a friend in America.

The cooking has consisted of making ham sandwiches for lunch!

At the moment, the only thing we look like accomplishing today is sitting in watching a film tonight! That is typical for us, and you know what? It's glorious! The housework will be done eventually, the dinner will be cooked for tomorrow and the soup will be made. However, considering that hubby has only recently stopped shiftwork, Saturdays spent together are still a novelty and long may they continue!

Spectacles of the rose-tinted variety

2009-01-09T09:35:00.000Z

Isn't it funny how the mind works? You start thinking about one thing and then, like a chain reaction, your mind instantly goes over a hundred loosely connected things in what seems like a split second. Almost like six degrees of separation in the brain!

It all started for me when I found a couple of pictures of my first husband. Somehow, I randomly came across the lyrics of a poem (which has been set to music) that some friends had performed for us at our wedding. They were, by the way, fantastic.

Then, BOOM! I was instantly 19 again! Strange as it may seem, there was a period of around 4 years when Sunday nights were the highlight of the week. I was secure in my wee group of friends and we had a lot in common. The time that springs to mind is a period of about a year within the 4 years. Our ward was meeting in another building because we were getting rennovations done. This meant that we'd meet with the other ward for Sacrament and then have our classes in the afternoon. So, Sundays for me went like this. I'd go and visit my Granny on a Sunday morning for an hour or so. Then, I'd leave and begin the walk (3 miles or so - I had no car) to Church, calling in for a friend on the way and she'd walk the last mile with me. We'd have a perfectly pleasant afternoon at Church, followed by choir practice. This meant it was late afternoon when we finished. Three of us would then walk back to our wee corner of Belfast (via a Chinese takeaway) singing the entire way! Regardless of the weather, we always seemed to have a lot to talk and laugh about!

After our walk home, we'd go to another friend's house and chat for a while. Then we'd sing for an hour or so (quite by accident we managed to form a wee group and used to sing at meetings and firesides, sometimes through popular request and the odd time controversially!). One of the songs we'd sing was an arrangement for women's voices of the song that was performed at our wedding. It was called Music, when soft voices die. The poem itself was written by Percy B Shelley and the music composed by Charles Wood.

After singing, we'd play a board game and inevitably settle down to watch a Monty Python film, usually the Life of Brian. The film would end and almost as inevitably the candles would be lit, Enya would go on the stereo and we'd all just lie around chatting.

There are few things in anyone's life which truly deserve the rose-tinted glasses. For me, this is one of the few. Heaven knows there are plenty of events in my life that need to be viewed with gritty realism, but this is one of the good ones.

I have decided that when looking back over my life, I can easily pick out the lessons learned, the battles won and the character building moments. Just as easily, though, I can pick out the plain, old-fashioned good times which need no editing to become viewable through the spectacles of the rose-tinted variety.

Ahhhh......nostalgia

Thanks Shelley!

2009-01-08T10:13:00.000Z

Ok, thanks to Shelley Rowan, I have discovered that I have far too much time on my hands. Rather, I have discovered that instead of prioritising work (which I should be doing) I choose to spend my time doubled up in laughter. The reason is this. She tagged me and it was so funny I had to share it. The idea is this. If your life were to be portrayed as a movie, what would the soundtrack be? Nothing so gratifying as allowing you to choose your own tracks. No, not at all! Here's what you do. You go to your media library wherever it may be held - your ipod, windows media, realplayer etc. Open all your music so it's all one big playlist. Set it to shuffle and you're ready to go!
For the first song you choose number 4 and then press next for the tune that will be played at the next stage of the film. Here's mine:

Opening Credits - Fields of Gold (Eva Cassidy)
Waking Up - The Lord's Prayer (Mo Tab)
Average Day - Spanish Train (Chris de Burgh)
First Date - Watch the Lamb (259)
Fall in Love - O Lord, my redeemer (259)
Fight Scene - Band of Gold (Freda Payne)
Getting back together - Praise the Lord (Mo Tab)
Secret Love - Tears dry on their own (Amy Winehouse)
Life's Okay - Home before dark (Neil Diamond)
Mental Breakdown - Cooties (Hairspray soundtrack)
Driving - I'm going home (Chris de Burgh)
Learning a lesson - He was here (Forgotten Carols, Michael McLean)
Deep thought - Raging storm (Chris de Burgh)
Flashback - If you could hie to Kolob (David Glen Hatch)
Partying - We are the champions (Crazy Frog! Roadshow, if you must know!)
Happy Dance - Honeysuckle rose (Eva Cassidy)
Regretting - Come come ye saints (David Glen Hatch)
Long night alone - Violin concerto no. 1 in G minor (Max Bruch)
Death scene - Families can be together forever (Camarata)
Funeral song Medley - Nephi's courage,Book of Mormon Stories and The golden plates
End Credits - I've been missing you (Chris de Burgh)

So there you have it! The soundtrack of my life is neither cool nor hip, but you must admit that some of the music is very fitting!

Mothers - are they all the same?

2009-01-07T10:02:00.000Z

Last Friday, the hubby and I travelled down to Dublin to see his family for the day, since we hadn't seen them at all over Christmas. It was a lovely day and we enjoyed spending time with them. There was one observation, though. His Mum lives in a wee bungalow that was specially built for her in the back garden of the house that her daughter and son-in-law live in. So, we were all sitting down to a lovely roast dinner (yum, yum) and the conversation was just chuntering on nicely when the Mum started talking about how much electricity and gas the daughter uses! And then the price was mentioned and how much they could save if only they'd turn off the odd light or use the heating in a more sensible, cost-effective way. Hubby and I looked at each other and started to grin, as did daughter and son-in-law. By the time Mum was finished telling us all how to live, we were all laughing! Of course, hubby started to tease Mum and nearly lost his head for it, but that's another story.

We were reminded of my own Mum, dear bless her wee heart! Recently we bought hubby a new laptop, for no real reason other than he wanted one. Aware of what would happen if my Mum found out, we hid it every time she came round! Yes, in our own home we hid things from my Mother! It was like being a child again, caught with your hand in the biscuit tin! Due to my illness, she called round unexpectedly one day and we forgot to put the laptop in its hidey hole. Well, we got the 'no wonder you two never have any money' and 'why did you even want a new laptop when the other is still working' lecture! The very reason we had always hidden it was to avoid this scenario.

I thought this was confined to us and our families. I was at a friend's house last night. This friend is of the same generation as mine and hubby's parents. She was talking and wondering why her daughter would want to upgrade her mobile phone when the one she has still works! We had a lenghty conversation about the generational differences between us and she is still wondering why you'd upgrade phones and I'm still wondering why you wouldn't!

So, my lengthy conclusion is this - yes, they may look differently and act differently but essentially, Mothers are all the same. They want the best for their children, can see how to achieve this, but forget that the children sometimes have to find this out for themselves.

Finally...

2009-01-06T11:33:00.000Z

Okay, finally! After years of resisting, I have now embraced the blog! I don't know why, just that for the last few weeks there has been an increasingly loud voice in my head that says I should start blogging. So hear I am. Wait. I'm hearing voices? If other people tell me that they're hearing voices I usually tell them to wait for a minute while the wee white van gets closer to the door, and here I am actually listening to mine! Well, listening isn't quite the right way of phrasing it. More like having a conversation with my inner head voices.

So, one of my oldest friends has been trying to get me to do this for years and I've only just listened. As usual, she's not far off the mark with knowing what I'd enjoy. I once tried facebook for about 2 weeks, hated it and de-activated my account. My glorious friend nagged me back into it and now I'm addicted! Thanks! Mind you, I was off work recently for a month due to illness and the said facebook did help to keep me sane! There was a lot to be done, you know. My pretend puppy had to be fed, I had to buy people with insane amounts of pretend money and heaven knows the word puzzles kept me going! All this while my husband 'looked after' me. Bless him! He did try!