On being therapimecated

After 6 months, I have finished my personal therapy!!! Yay! Although I'm glad in one sense - and my bank balance is ecstatic - I'm kind've sad in another. A wee chapter has ended and I've been well therapised!

I'm grateful to have had a counsellor who helped me (and pushed me, at times) along my journey and who helped me put theory and practice together. I can only hope that if I ever make it through this degree and find a suitable counselling placement, I'll do some justice to the efforts she put in with me.

I will miss these hours; the times that are purely for me and to work through my 'stuff'. I will miss the walks into town where I had 20 mins either side of the sessions to think, listen to music and be happy with the world. Today was a wonderful example of that. It's a beautiful, cold, windy autumn day and it made me happy to walk home even though it was tinged with a wee bit of sadness for the ending of something.

Time Killing..

Ok, so it's only 12.30. I'm aware I should be working. I should probably be catching up on paperwork or visiting sick older people. Instead, I find myself blogging about what I'm (not) doing instead!

I'm sitting in my office killing time until lunch in 30 mins. Doesn't really seem worthwhile to start a new project so I'm noseying around on facebook and occasionally daydreaming out the window.

I find myself looking out of the office window at the trees. They are at that beautiful mix of green leaves and yellow, with some unfortunate yellow and brown leaves already on the ground. It should be a sad sight, but it isn't! Instead it lends a golden glow to my office and I love this time of year because of it! (Mind you, as soon as the leaves are all off I look for the new buds coming through!)

There is very little breeze out today, and it's raining. So, so peaceful...Calms my soul

Summer

I haven't blogged in quite a while! I think this is because I've spent the summer recuperating from the academic year, and I've really enjoyed having nothing to think about, having some free time and I actually had the opportunity to read a couple of books for sheer pleasure!

The picture is one taken when we were able to get out cycling along the coastal path from Bangor to Holywood. Cracking views!

Of course, there were a couple of camping trips. And, of course, it rained non-stop while we were camping! At one point the water table was so high that one morning we woke up with puddles in the bedroom!! Thankfully they were easily sorted, and if all else failed, the airbed (which has a rubber base) would have acted as a li-lo!!

We also had a friend come over from England to spend the weekend with us. We had a lovely time and went to County Fermanagh to visit the Marble Arch caves. She loved it and we thoroughly enjoyed her company!

Ken's sister gave birth at the beginning of the month to a beautiful girl called Alexandra. She really is a wee dote and we spent a couple of days in Dublin getting to know her and spending some time with his Mum.

So, now we're nearing the end of the summer, we're gearing up for our winter activities. I'm looking forward to getting back to college, but not to the loss of free time. More importantly, the ice hockey season starts soon! Let's go Giants!

Reflections

As part of the foundation degree in counselling that I'm undertaking, I am required to receive 20 hours of personal therapy. 20 hours! That's a lot. My wise counsellor set me homework the other week. I had to read the journals that I had written over the years. I've kept a journal for more than 20 years now, so this is no small undertaking!!

It was surreal to read what I had written all those years ago, about the trials of being a teenager! Some of it is so trivial I can't believe I actually wasted time, paper and ink on them. Some entries are...well..not trivial.

It was brought home to me just how different I am from the teenager who wrote in those journals all those years ago, but some things remain.

I remain grateful for the gospel in my life, even if it isn't as new to me as it was then. I'm grateful for my friends and family for their love and support, and for all that they've taught me.

What really stood out, though, was that I have always been watched over. At every stage in my life when I needed something, someone was put in my way to help. Some of these people know what influence they've been (because I've told them) and others don't know or realise just how much they helped when I needed it most. I'm eternally grateful to all those who have helped shape me and enabled me to move forward.

After Jason died, I listened to one song a lot - Flowers never bend with the rainfall, by Simon and Garfunkel. So, in their words, I'll continue to continue.

Simple things and stupidity

I once knew a man in Stafford who told us that he was amazed at his own brilliance - and he meant it! Well, this week, I have occasionally been amazed at my own stupidity! There are too many stories to go into detail, but I will tell you about one.
I decided that we would upgrade our subscription to hd. This was a relatively simple thing to do, all we had to do was order the box and connect it ourselves, which we managed to do in about 5 minutes. It's great, and the picture is really sharp! We were very pleased!
The time came to put the box into the space left for it in the tv unit, right on top of the dvd player. There was only a small hitch - the box was too big for the space. It looked rediculous perched on top of the unit. It took us about an hour to decide what to do. We'd move that unit into the hall. The shelves that were in the hall would go into the bedroom, and the bookcase that was in the bedroom would come into the living room to hold the tv, boxes, dvd player, dvds etc. When the time came to commence the moving, about 2 hours later, I decided to have one last go at the simpler things, like putting the box somewhere else. That didn't work. We were ready to get everything ready, when I said,'As one last go, why don't we slide the tv down a bit to see if that makes room?' It took me 3 HOURS to come up with the solution that normal people would have come up with in about 30 seconds!
At least we saved ourselves the hassle of the big move!
Painting the hall this week - can't wait to see what gems that throws at us!!

A chink of light!

Now that May is well underway and the academic year is drawing to its close, I can at last begin to see a chink of light at the end of the tunnel!

Life from September to May has been hectic for me for the last 3 years, with this past year being the busiest of them all! On top of working full-time ( I'm aware that some of you may not classify what I do for a living as 'working'!) writing approx. 1000 words a week for class, the recorded assessment and exams we've just done, actually going to class and church service (I direct the choir and teach once a month - thank goodness it's not every week!), I have had barely enough time to breathe, let alone queeze in a social life! So, I apologise if I haven't called, emailed or visited, but at least I'll get a bit of a breather until September!

Well, now that classes are more or less finished for the semester, I have embarked on my 20 hours of required personal therapy. That'll be fun! Still, only another 2 years to go before I'm qualified and making a living doing what I've wanted to for a long, long time!

So, bring on the summer! I'm looking forward to actually having enough time to be bored of an evening! What luxury is that?

Our road trip!

We have spent the last week and a bit travelling to visit the temple, see the ice hockey and spent time with family and friends! We need a holiday now to recover from the holiday!

We had a great time at the temple, made even better by the dinner we got to have with Lauren. It was great to see her again and looking happy. Even better that we got to meet the famous Malc!

Then, there was the weekend to beat all weekends. The ice hockey playoff finals! You all know how we're a bit potty about the ice hockey and are avid supporters of the Belfast Giants. Playoff weekends are always fun because all clubs are represented at the finals, but this year the Giants actually qualified for them! So, in celebration, we bought foam puck hats for all 8 of us who attended the weekend! Didn't we look great! So great, in fact, that we were picked up by the cameras on sky sports 2 who were covering the event! Contrary to what Dave Simms (the commentator) said, we had not been on the black stuff. In fact, we managed to make ourselves look and act like complete eejits while being stone cold sober!!!

Good times - and already we're looking forward to next year. And, by the way, the Giants won!!

Learning and growing

I'm not into poetry. At. All. With one exception - the poems of the First World War. I like them. Some of them. I like how you get caught up in the melancholy and futility of war. I made an exception this week. I bought a friend's recently published collection, Inroads. I bought it primarily to support her because, even though I don't see her much, I am very pleased for her for her achievements and I enjoy her writing style.

Thing is, I find myself thinking about some of these poems. It's like they've actually affected me! Who'd have thought it! So, dear friend. Thank you.



By the way, she has an eagerly anticipated novel out next year. It is 'The Guardian Angel's Journal'. I recommend it! And the author can send me my commission through paypal! :D

Photo-less

It occurred to me the other day that there are no nice pictures of us around the house except our wedding pictures. In fact, there is a real dearth (I really, really like that word!) of printed pictures at all since Ken and I got married. I have hundreds of photos (note, no apostrophe - that drives me crazy!) of all aspects of life with Jason, but hardly any with Ken.

This isn't because we haven't taken any. Of course we have! Hundreds. Thousands, in fact. Difference is that they were taken with the digital camera and of course, it's not every picture that gets printed. In fact, for us, it's only the very rare photo gets printed out.

So, in the run-up to St Valentine's Day this year and not knowing what to buy for my beloved husband, I decided to get a nice photo frame. I then, well, bascially nagged Ken into taking some pictures of us together to put in the frame. He thought I was just off on one of my whims but, bless him, he went along with it to keep me happy!

The result is that we now have a couple of nice pictures of us (including one in the frame!) and had a couple of really nice, relaxing days together over the weekend.

I'm so incredibly blessed in my life to have Ken. He is my world, and what's better - I'm his!

The Gift of Tears

Last night was Bible study night. It's been a while since we've had the opportunity to get together and we were very glad that we took it last night. We were reading in Luke 4, where the Saviour got up and read from Isaiah, saying that He was sent to preach the gospel to the poor, heal the brokenhearted, and so on..

It got us to talking and I mentioned a friend of mine who had recently been having a hard time and had phoned me in tears. Tears so bad they were taking her breath away. You know the sort - the whole-body sob that takes over and you can't control it. I said to my friend at the Bible study that the passage about healing the brokenhearted made me think of her and that she was having such a hard time and had forgotten that God loves her because she feels unworthy of that love.

My Bible study friend immediately picked up a booklet she had been given by another friend and read a page entitled 'Pray for the gift of tears'. I've been thinking about this, and while none of us likes to be sore of heart or grief-stricken the alternative is much, much worse. Imagine being so hard of heart that nothing touches you? Imagine not being able to cry tears of joy? Even tears of sadness can keep us from being hard. If we didn't have the gift of tears I think the world would be a very very ugly place, filled with hard, angry, cynical people.

I, for one, am glad that I cry at the drop of a hat! No longer will I be embarrassed!

Back to life

Image by Leo Reynolds via Flickr

...Back to reality. I've enjoyed the last month or so, with not having a hectic schedule. Back to the real world now, though. The new semester starts this week, so my week looks like this:
Monday: Work from 9am to 5.15pm, College from 5.30-8.30pm
Tuesday: Work from 9am to 5.15pm, Bible study from 7.30 - 9ish
Wednesday: Work from 9am to 10pm (film night for the tenants - Elvis this week!)
Thursday: Work from 9am to 5.15pm, College from 5.30-8.30pm
Friday: Work from 9am to 3.45pm, Ice hockey from 7pm
Saturday: Shopping to replace the broken microwave, putting up shelves and fixing the tv wiring and then Ice hockey
Sunday: Church from 10-1, parents for dinner and finally a bit of rest!

So, it's Monday and already I'm looking forward to Sunday evening for a bit of relaxation!!!

Smugness!

Image by brooklyn via Flickr

I rarely have any occasion to be smug, so when one arises I embrace it warmly! The latest is that I had my college assignments finished before the Christmas break! They add up to approx 6000 words, broken down into 10 weekly assignments and a case study. I was so chuffed with myself that I could relax and enjoy the Christmas holiday, concentrating on doing nothing, wrapping a few presents and just spending time with my family. It was lovely and very, very needed! I did nothing over Christmas. I slept late, ate a fair bit and lazed about.
New Year's Eve was spent with my parents playing board games and some games on their wii. We had a great laugh and at midnight went outside to hear the ship's horns blast the New Year in. We finally made it to bed around 2.30am. It. Was. Nice.

Then, on Sunday, I thought I'd take a look at my college work and get it organised and printed ready to be handed in on Thursday. See? Smugness!

Imagine my horror when the computer won't turn on! I imagined myself having to write all 6000 words again. Finally, the computer DID switch on and I was able to get the stuff printed, but not before all traces of smugness were wiped forever off my face!