A few years ago, I completed a course in working with people who have learning disabilities. This is because of the fact that I work with a few learning disabled people in the course of my job. One of the things we learned about was challenging behaviour and how most of it is because the person doesn't feel listened to or understood and because they lack the necessary communication skills to get their point across, so they act out in challenging ways.

I was thinking about this last night, and decided that those of us who are privileged to not be learning disabled really aren't that different. Our tempers rise also when we feel we're not being listened to. The only difference is that we are blessed to have the vocabulary to explain our feelings and sort through our problems, providing the other person is willing to try and listen and understand. If the other person doesn't want to listen or respect your wishes, then you need to think of a different way to deal with the issue at hand.

At the moment, my way is to just not think about it!

Mrs Grumpy

I seem to be permanently grumpy these days. I think it's because, like I was saying in my last post, I rarely seem to have any real free time. Last night was college night and I really had to force myself to go. All I really want are a couple of evenings a week where I don't have to do anything! That'd be bliss! Of course, if that ever did happen, I'd probably be grumpy out of boredom!

I think it's the gemini in me - split personality!

So, I most humbly apologise to anyone who has had the misfortune to speak to me lately! I apologise for not being funny, talkative or willing to communicate in any way!

Still, it could be worse. At least I do have some things to look forward to! A double-header ice hockey weekend this weekend and then Valentine's weekend will be busy and fun. It's not all bad then, eh?

Of course, it could just be that I'm getting older and grumpiness seems to be a natural progression. Have you seen those programmes, grumpy old men/women? Sadly, most of the things that annoy them seem to annoy me also!

So, I was wrong! It's not how busy I am or some inherent personality defect - it's a natural side-effect from getting older!! Woohoo!

Have fun ;)

They're going to take me away! haha

I have come to the conclusion that I'll never die in the asylum! Mainly because I can never seem to completely make my mind up. When I'm feeling awake, alive and invigorated I want my days and nights to be filled with activity. When I'm feeling tired or less than ecstatically happy I would like to be able to relax of an evening.

However, I rarely get to choose because I have a big mouth. I tend to volunteer for and organise things on nights I know I'm free and spend the week regretting it!

This week, for example. Monday night was obviously family night (even though there are only 2 of us!) Tuesday night is Bible study night. Wednesday is college (although I'm ditching this week to to to the ice hockey), Thursday is feeding the missionaries. Friday is free so far, but no doubt I'll find something to do against my better judgement! Saturday is, again, ice hockey and Sunday is taken up with church and family.

And that, folks, is my week. It's pretty typical of every week and probably somewhat explains why my house is always like a tip-head (I never have time to clean it properly!) and my weekends are so lazy!

Shared Experiences

Occasionally, I burst into song. I can't claim to sing hip and happening tunes, or even spiritual songs unless you count 'Hand me down my silver trumpet'. More often it'll be a song that the hubby has only heard bursting forth from my mouth. I thought I was on my own loving these random but amusing songs. Here's the problem though; I can never tell if they're amusing in their own right or because of the memories associated with them!

These songs are ones that we were taught in secondary school, so the experience was shared by hundreds of other girls for countless years. Titles such as 'When Father papered the parlour' or 'The Ship Titanic', 'The Fox', and 'The housewife's lament' are frequently sung!

The other day on facebook, I was contacted by an old friend asking the name of the songbook that we'd been forced to sing out of at school. I told her what it was and then the search began! We've managed to find a lot of these old songs on youtube and she has tracked down a copy of the book. The upshot is that, at some point in the future, at least 4 of us are planning to get together and have an evening of song and probably much laughter with these old songs.

Who'd have thought that, many years after leaving school, we'd all be brought together by these songs? Who'd have thought that we'd even remember them? Funny thing is, we were all in different years at school but the same songs have stuck in each of our memories.

There is definitely something to be said for shared experiences!

Family traits

Among the many good and bad family traits that have been handed down to us by my parents is the love of the gadget. Growing up, we were the first to have the heralded Atari gamestation (you know, the one with the tennis that was composed of two straight lines and a 'ball' that went in diagonal lines?), the video recorder (we'd have all the kids in the street in watching) and the microwave to name but a few. These characteristics have been passed on to me and my brother and we all dearly love our gadgets and play-things. My parents have recently invested in the Nintendo wii, having decided that their playstation 2 is defunct!

Over the years, this has been the cause of much hilarity in the family. Other relatives tease us mercilessly and of course, we tease each other. We're not a family in which you can hide easily or be allowed to forget mistakes!

We had great fun playing the atari as kids, the nintendo wii gets played as a family thanks to my parents owning mario kart and we all occasionally go camping together using various gadgets to make the experience more comfortable.

Do you know what some of my favourite family moments are though? Playing cricket in the park - just the four of us, one batsperson, one bowler and two fielders! We had a great time. More recently, playing football at Crawfordsburn. Three generations of the same family all teasing each other, tackling roughly (even mum) and the highlight was when Mum scored from a corner kick!

You see, as a family, we have bought a lot of gadgets over the years and they give you a bit of fun for a while. The lasting memories come from the simple things like baking together, playing a bit of footie or tennis, or cricket. Most importantly, from being together and having fun. It gives you something to smile and laugh about in later years.

Great plans gone awry

Why is it that the plans you make for your day never quite turn out? For some people, life gets in the way and others are probably too busy being productive in some other way. For us it's pure laziness.

Last night, as hubby was playing on the wii and I had the interesting honour of watching him play James Bond, we formulated our plans for today. They went like this:

1 - Have a nice lie-in
2 - Do an hour's worth of housework
3 - Chill and spend some quality time together
4 - Get cooking - roasting the meat for tomorrow's dinner, make soup, make lunch and dinner for today
5 - Have a lovely date night in, complete with chocolate, shloer, popcorn and movie

Here's how it's panned out so far. Hubby got a lie-in. I was up at 8.30 am thanks to the strange noises that were coming out of his mouth. Housework would have been too loud and woken him up, so I chose instead to watch tv. Very tiring it was too!

Instead of doing the hour of housework, we decided to go into town and get some lovely Irish souvenirs for a friend in America.

The cooking has consisted of making ham sandwiches for lunch!

At the moment, the only thing we look like accomplishing today is sitting in watching a film tonight! That is typical for us, and you know what? It's glorious! The housework will be done eventually, the dinner will be cooked for tomorrow and the soup will be made. However, considering that hubby has only recently stopped shiftwork, Saturdays spent together are still a novelty and long may they continue!

Spectacles of the rose-tinted variety

Isn't it funny how the mind works? You start thinking about one thing and then, like a chain reaction, your mind instantly goes over a hundred loosely connected things in what seems like a split second. Almost like six degrees of separation in the brain!

It all started for me when I found a couple of pictures of my first husband. Somehow, I randomly came across the lyrics of a poem (which has been set to music) that some friends had performed for us at our wedding. They were, by the way, fantastic.

Then, BOOM! I was instantly 19 again! Strange as it may seem, there was a period of around 4 years when Sunday nights were the highlight of the week. I was secure in my wee group of friends and we had a lot in common. The time that springs to mind is a period of about a year within the 4 years. Our ward was meeting in another building because we were getting rennovations done. This meant that we'd meet with the other ward for Sacrament and then have our classes in the afternoon. So, Sundays for me went like this. I'd go and visit my Granny on a Sunday morning for an hour or so. Then, I'd leave and begin the walk (3 miles or so - I had no car) to Church, calling in for a friend on the way and she'd walk the last mile with me. We'd have a perfectly pleasant afternoon at Church, followed by choir practice. This meant it was late afternoon when we finished. Three of us would then walk back to our wee corner of Belfast (via a Chinese takeaway) singing the entire way! Regardless of the weather, we always seemed to have a lot to talk and laugh about!

After our walk home, we'd go to another friend's house and chat for a while. Then we'd sing for an hour or so (quite by accident we managed to form a wee group and used to sing at meetings and firesides, sometimes through popular request and the odd time controversially!). One of the songs we'd sing was an arrangement for women's voices of the song that was performed at our wedding. It was called Music, when soft voices die. The poem itself was written by Percy B Shelley and the music composed by Charles Wood.

After singing, we'd play a board game and inevitably settle down to watch a Monty Python film, usually the Life of Brian. The film would end and almost as inevitably the candles would be lit, Enya would go on the stereo and we'd all just lie around chatting.

There are few things in anyone's life which truly deserve the rose-tinted glasses. For me, this is one of the few. Heaven knows there are plenty of events in my life that need to be viewed with gritty realism, but this is one of the good ones.

I have decided that when looking back over my life, I can easily pick out the lessons learned, the battles won and the character building moments. Just as easily, though, I can pick out the plain, old-fashioned good times which need no editing to become viewable through the spectacles of the rose-tinted variety.

Ahhhh......nostalgia

Thanks Shelley!

Ok, thanks to Shelley Rowan, I have discovered that I have far too much time on my hands. Rather, I have discovered that instead of prioritising work (which I should be doing) I choose to spend my time doubled up in laughter. The reason is this. She tagged me and it was so funny I had to share it. The idea is this. If your life were to be portrayed as a movie, what would the soundtrack be? Nothing so gratifying as allowing you to choose your own tracks. No, not at all! Here's what you do. You go to your media library wherever it may be held - your ipod, windows media, realplayer etc. Open all your music so it's all one big playlist. Set it to shuffle and you're ready to go!
For the first song you choose number 4 and then press next for the tune that will be played at the next stage of the film. Here's mine:

Opening Credits - Fields of Gold (Eva Cassidy)
Waking Up - The Lord's Prayer (Mo Tab)
Average Day - Spanish Train (Chris de Burgh)
First Date - Watch the Lamb (259)
Fall in Love - O Lord, my redeemer (259)
Fight Scene - Band of Gold (Freda Payne)
Getting back together - Praise the Lord (Mo Tab)
Secret Love - Tears dry on their own (Amy Winehouse)
Life's Okay - Home before dark (Neil Diamond)
Mental Breakdown - Cooties (Hairspray soundtrack)
Driving - I'm going home (Chris de Burgh)
Learning a lesson - He was here (Forgotten Carols, Michael McLean)
Deep thought - Raging storm (Chris de Burgh)
Flashback - If you could hie to Kolob (David Glen Hatch)
Partying - We are the champions (Crazy Frog! Roadshow, if you must know!)
Happy Dance - Honeysuckle rose (Eva Cassidy)
Regretting - Come come ye saints (David Glen Hatch)
Long night alone - Violin concerto no. 1 in G minor (Max Bruch)
Death scene - Families can be together forever (Camarata)
Funeral song Medley - Nephi's courage,Book of Mormon Stories and The golden plates
End Credits - I've been missing you (Chris de Burgh)

So there you have it! The soundtrack of my life is neither cool nor hip, but you must admit that some of the music is very fitting!

Mothers - are they all the same?

Last Friday, the hubby and I travelled down to Dublin to see his family for the day, since we hadn't seen them at all over Christmas. It was a lovely day and we enjoyed spending time with them. There was one observation, though. His Mum lives in a wee bungalow that was specially built for her in the back garden of the house that her daughter and son-in-law live in. So, we were all sitting down to a lovely roast dinner (yum, yum) and the conversation was just chuntering on nicely when the Mum started talking about how much electricity and gas the daughter uses! And then the price was mentioned and how much they could save if only they'd turn off the odd light or use the heating in a more sensible, cost-effective way. Hubby and I looked at each other and started to grin, as did daughter and son-in-law. By the time Mum was finished telling us all how to live, we were all laughing! Of course, hubby started to tease Mum and nearly lost his head for it, but that's another story.

We were reminded of my own Mum, dear bless her wee heart! Recently we bought hubby a new laptop, for no real reason other than he wanted one. Aware of what would happen if my Mum found out, we hid it every time she came round! Yes, in our own home we hid things from my Mother! It was like being a child again, caught with your hand in the biscuit tin! Due to my illness, she called round unexpectedly one day and we forgot to put the laptop in its hidey hole. Well, we got the 'no wonder you two never have any money' and 'why did you even want a new laptop when the other is still working' lecture! The very reason we had always hidden it was to avoid this scenario.

I thought this was confined to us and our families. I was at a friend's house last night. This friend is of the same generation as mine and hubby's parents. She was talking and wondering why her daughter would want to upgrade her mobile phone when the one she has still works! We had a lenghty conversation about the generational differences between us and she is still wondering why you'd upgrade phones and I'm still wondering why you wouldn't!

So, my lengthy conclusion is this - yes, they may look differently and act differently but essentially, Mothers are all the same. They want the best for their children, can see how to achieve this, but forget that the children sometimes have to find this out for themselves.

Finally...

Okay, finally! After years of resisting, I have now embraced the blog! I don't know why, just that for the last few weeks there has been an increasingly loud voice in my head that says I should start blogging. So hear I am. Wait. I'm hearing voices? If other people tell me that they're hearing voices I usually tell them to wait for a minute while the wee white van gets closer to the door, and here I am actually listening to mine! Well, listening isn't quite the right way of phrasing it. More like having a conversation with my inner head voices.

So, one of my oldest friends has been trying to get me to do this for years and I've only just listened. As usual, she's not far off the mark with knowing what I'd enjoy. I once tried facebook for about 2 weeks, hated it and de-activated my account. My glorious friend nagged me back into it and now I'm addicted! Thanks! Mind you, I was off work recently for a month due to illness and the said facebook did help to keep me sane! There was a lot to be done, you know. My pretend puppy had to be fed, I had to buy people with insane amounts of pretend money and heaven knows the word puzzles kept me going! All this while my husband 'looked after' me. Bless him! He did try!